Dating Japan - Meet and Date Japanese Girls

No Sex Thank You

Of course if you call it "marital intercourse" people are not going to do it!!

 

I do want a copy of the manga Love Story though...

Dating Survival Guide #3 - Desperado

Never underestimate the determination of a Japanese woman.  

A gaijin girlfriend of mine was taking a break from Japan recently while her gaijin boyfriend remained "incountry" due to work.  Now this couple are very much in love and very much together so when Boyfriend told Girlfriend he had gone out for a few drinks one Saturday night while she was away, and about the  the Japanese woman that kept hitting on him, she didn't mind. Boyfriend told Miss Japan that he had a girlfriend he loved very much and that he was not interested.  Girlfriend trusts her man and he trusts her so that was all OK.  The part of the story she DID mind was that this Miss Japan had no respect for this piece of information at all.   Miss Japan went onto say that he was obviously single if Girlfriend was not around and Girlfriend must not love him if she went away without him.  Miss Japan then attempted to rub Boyfriend's chest and tried many times to sit on his lap.  Boyfriend was not having a bar of it.

Boyfriend in the end went home to get away from a very forward Miss Japan.  An hour later, his phone rang.  The bartender at the club - a mate of his - was ringing to say that Miss Japan was hassling him now for Boyfriend's phone number.  Boyfriend thanked bartender for not giving it out.  Boyfriend then checked his Facebook account a few days later to find that Miss Japan had tracked him down and done the old friendship request that hinted at a bit more.  Boyfriend declined and was then bombarded with private messages from her until he blocked her.

Girlfriend was a little upset by this blatant act on this Miss Japan's behalf to get between herself and Boyfriend.

Girlfriend then asked Boyfriend how old Miss Japan was.  "Mid-30s", came the reply.  And suddenly Girlfriend understood - it didn't necessarily justify Miss Japan's actions, but Girlfriend understood.

If you are Japanese, female, over 25 and single, you are referred to as urenokori which translates as 'unsold merchandise'.  And if you are Japanese, female, over 30 and single, Japanese society would tell you that you are doomed.  Unfair and very sexist, but unfortunately true.  And the look these women get in their eyes is a little scary.  When I was bartending in Osaka, I could pick these ladies a mile off.  And god help any man that they set their sights on, "No" just isn't in their vocabulary.

While this can make things a little difficult for the gaijin lady trying to score a date, it certainly makes things easier for average gaijin Joe.  But beware, these ladies aren't just chasing a little love - they are chasing a lifetime commitment!

That's Japan Baby #2

Oh Lordy.  In the words of the immortal Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo...."Bohemeth!"

Watch the expressions of the panelists viewing this clip.  They don't know whether to laugh or cry - and the thing is that box is purely there to let the TV viewers at home know how they should be responding to this clip.

That's Japan Baby - TJB indeed.

The Japanese Tradition - It's All Armchair Theory

Following on from Lessons in Stalking #4, we have the 5th and final installment of The Japanese Tradition.

I asked myself a few questions upon viewing this.  They were:

1. Would I ever go on a date with a man who invited me using weaponry?  I think that could be kidnapping.

2.  Would I ever find myself alone on a beach with a man on a horse? 

3. Does anyone else think Rollng Buddha Thunder sounds like another term for passing wind?

4. Is yelling I LOVE YOU in such an aggressive manner healthy for you?

I did like the little parable ending with "An arrow never fired in this world will never hit its target" - so true.  And I also agree with the whole armchair theory aspect of it all and that all we learned from this really is useless.  Unless of course stalking is your preferred method for getting a date.

Lack of Getting Some on the Rise

After yesterday's post, further probing has confirmed that Japanese people really do barely get it on.  This article from the end of last year simply supports what Durex also published.  It is a crying shame!

Over a Third of Japanese Couples Skip Sex: Survey

Source: Reuters

TOKYO (Reuters Life!) - More than a third of married couples in Japan have stopped having sex, many of them because they are too tired or just can't be bothered, a government-backed medical researcher said on Wednesday.

Japanese couples are having less sex according to a recently released study. (iStock)

About 37 percent of couples surveyed this year by Kunio Kitamura, head of the Japan Family Planning Association, said they had not had sex for at least a month, compared with 32 percent in 2004.

The most common reason, given by a quarter of the males surveyed, was being too tired after work, while 19 percent of women said sex was too much of a hassle, he told Reuters.

"It's a question of work-life balance," Kitamura said in a telephone interview. "This is not something that the individual can tackle alone. The people who run companies need to do something about it."

His written survey involved 647 men and 821 women aged up to 49, who are married.

The trend could have serious consequences for Japan, whose falling birthrate and aging population are continuing headaches for the government.

The average number of children born to a Japanese woman in her lifetime was 1.34 in 2007, compared with 2.1 in the United States in 2006.

Kitamura said doctors may also be partly to blame for Japan's negative attitudes toward sex during pregnancy or after giving birth.

He is set to report to the Ministry of Health on his findings next year.

(Reporting by Isabel Reynolds, editing by Miral Fahmy)

It seems to me that the Japanese government has another good reason to relax immigration laws...

The Land of the Rising Lack of Sexy Time

Last year, Durex interviewed 26,000 people in 26 countries about their sexual well being.  The interviews were conducted online and participants were asked all sorts of questions relating to their sex lives and their sexual satisfaction. I came across the results tabling which countries were getting down to it the most and with great disappointment, Japan came in last -  only 34% are getting on the job on a weekly basis.  

I don't understand it.  In a nation where manga tentacle porn is the norm, getting groped on the train is considered a compliment and the neon signs of love hotels shine so bright you practically need sunglasses to pass safely , why are the Japanese neglecting to practice daily and nightly and ever-so-rightly?  

I am sure if Durex included sexy time had with Real Dolls and strange anime characters, the survey results would have been very different...

Up and At 'Em for National Penis Day

I recently received an email with the following photos attached to it and wondered "How could I have missed this important date??" 

March 15 saw National Penis Day come and go in Japan - pardon the pun. Carrying on from old Shinto religious ceremonies with fertility theme it is supposed to tie in with the start of spring and aimed at agricultural fertility.  Still fertility and penises are of course taken very seriously in Japan and this day, called the Hounen Matsuri, is celebrated annually at the Tagata Shrine in Komaki, Central Japan.  Though is probably more visually phallic now than it was in days of yore...

  

Oh the hilarity.  Although I am not sure how comfortable I feel with the little girl being held up to stroke the penis, nor about the woman wearing a "glasses and penis" disguise, angrily clutching her dick in her hand.  Grown men the world over will cry at that.

Foreigner Fever - Important Health Message

The following important health message concerns all male persons entering The Republic of Japan and staying for an extended period of time. 

It has come to the attention of the administrator of this site that travel in Japan is no longer the carefree, safe practice it used to be. It is the duty of this site to keep the general public informed of what the authorities are trying to pretend doesn't exist, of what the general public should know by right anyway. The subsequent information won't be found in your guidebooks, can't be gleaned from your travel agent and would certainly be denied by any embassy. Please read carefully. 

What is Foreigner Fever? 

Foreigner Fever (FF) is an infectious brain disease caused by the virus Egotistus Ginormous, most commonly affecting foreign males residing in Japan. At first illness may pass unrecognised, but if left untreated can lead to serious and permanent personality disorders. 

Symptoms of FF 

At the onset of infection, symptoms are often subtle and may include a heightened sense of self confidence, a slightly unrealistic view of themselves and a tendency to give their phone number out to any woman that enters their prefecture, wanted or not. 

As the virus progresses, a personality change so dramatic you could be mistaken for thinking the sufferer has undergone a fullscale lobotomy, will occur. A head so swollen that one needs to enter buildings sideways and the notion of going for quantity rather than quality will emerge. Phrases such as 'She's only human' and 'If she doesn't want me she must be a lesbian' will become a part of their venacular, along with frequent references to their bed, now known as 'the workbench'. Bars and clubs become 'hunting grounds'. 

At the pinnacle of contamination, the sufferer will set out on 72 hour weekends fuelled by drugs and alcohol and stop at nothing to bring a female back to their workspace, even if the gender of that female is questionable (this type of action, upon interrogation, will be met with an off-the-cuff remark such as 'But she wanted it'). 

How is FF caught? 

FF is caught by males from extended stays, or repeated visits, to Japan. Foreign men upon finding themselves in an eastern culture are often overwhelmed by the attention of Japanese women, who are more actually more forward than most of us think. These factors combined with a man realising how much he can get away with when dealing with Japanese women, as opposed to foreign women, and tales and tips from other foreign males as to how to handle himself to get maximum exposure leads to the virus imbedding small cells within the brain of the casualty. The more contact with Japanese women, the more the cells replicate and quickly take over the prefrontal cortext,which controls a person's decision making abilities, especially in social circumstances. FF is spread by encouragement, reinforcing to themselves that their actions are positive, rather than negative. This encouragement occurs in 2 ways - from the ego tripping of males when they act all blokey and do what men do, as well as the Japanese girls attending to every whim and putting up with their atrocious behaviour. 

Treatment 

The first step is to immediately remove access to alcohol and recreational drugs, as these only worsen the symptoms tenfold, even if is means locking the sufferer in their house and taking their keys with you. 

Follow this by asking them to tell their version of the previous night's events. When finished, stay silent for a few seconds, creating dramatic effect, take a deep breath and tell them what really happened the night before, and on all those other nights. Best 

again to stay silent when finished, to let fully let the shock horror sink in. Some will demand proof of what you tell them. This is easy. Simply roll up their shirt sleeves and point out all the different club/bar stamps on their arm for venue confirmation. Open up their phone and scrutinise missed/received calls as well as emails and SMSs to verify not only who they were in touch with (or harrassing), but also how late they were combing the streets for prey. 

If what you say is still being questioned, compare photos on each other's phones as well as digital cameras. Chances are he will have shots of him and his mates groping girls. You will have shots of him being ejected from numerous places, vomiting on the street or passed out in the doorway of his favourite club. 

This should instill in him enough fear, shock and shame to make some major personality readjustments. Place the photo of him passed on a row of bikes, with spittle hanging from his mouth, on the screensaver and wallpaper of his mobile telephone. This will be his motivation to stay healthy and should prevent relapse, because everytime he opens his phone, he is sorely reminded. 

If none of the above has worked, then the only option left is surgey to the brain - a lobotomy. Although this treatment method could leave the sufferer in a vegetative state, friends and family of those that have chosen this have often reported back that they prefer them this way. 

FAQs 

Is it possible for women to suffer from FF? 

No, not at all. In Japan, not even a remote possibility. Japanese men are so shy they are more backwards than forwards, and foreign males of any talent who aren't infected with FF either have girlfriends or are gay. 

I suspect my best male friend is suffering from FF, but every time I bring it up, he always denies it. The problem is, we are always drunk or gacked off our heads when I ask him so I cannot tell if the denial is genuine or false. How can I be sure? 

Follow this simple test and you will have your answer. 

When the night is coming to a close, head to that one seedy bar that is always open, no matter what time of the morning (you know the bar, the one where bartenders drink when they finish work, the one where those who have nowhere to go go...every town has one). Talk to the local drag queen dancing on the bar and ask your friend what he thinks of them. 

If he says "Fucking Fag" you have nothing to worry about. If he says "Great Tits" get the camera out.

(Taken from a notes and observations I made back in 2004 - still stands true today, only most people call it "Yellow Fever".)

Print Club Dating

Anybody who has dated anybody in Japan knows what Print Club is - the small, photo booth that couples (and good friends) go into to take tiny, fun photographs of themselves for which they can choose backgrounds, funny phrases, silly pictures and animations etc to stick onto the photos also.  It almost seems like this is the young Japanese couple's way of cementing the status of their relationship.  This video below gives a good insight into the high jinks and tom foolery of print club.

 

I remember playing host to a Japanese student in Melbourne last year and when I asked her if she had a boyfriend, she promptly open her purse and pulled out hundreds of these tiny Print Club photos taken of herself with her boyfriend. She then proceeded to pull out similar pics of her girlfriends with their boyfriends and explained that the thing to do is then swap these photos within your friendship circle. I am not sure why, but she said they garnered a lot of enjoyment out of it. I am yet to try Print Club. 

I am not sure I am ready to garner that much enjoyment.

Pair Rooku #4

And the Pair Rooku of the week goes to this couple on the slopes of Hakuba.  

They are very into it.  And the 1980s it would seem.